Author Archives: Richard Dalgleish

Reflective commentary #5 half-year

For feedback point 5, the halfway point in 3.2, the course notes asked student to prepare a short summary of progress to date along with a concise summary of up to 500 words of work in progress plus aims and objectives for second half of this unit. Along with these summaries, the notes ask for a selection of research and practice work. Along with updates to my planning, this felt like quite a lot to cover in a short call with tutor. This half way point feels in a way, very similar to the end of 3.1. It not a point where my research has been exhausted or where my creative ideas have fully crystallised but is maybe just further along the path.

The end of 3.1 was a way marker in my studies. It was not place where anything complete or where ideas had fully crystallised nor where my research interests had been exhausted. Indeed, such an ending might never happen and my research and creative interests might continue for the rest of my life.

One difference in my studies for 3.2 compared with 3.1 is that the student is asked to consider an external facing project. I initially approached this project from a selfish point of view; looking at benefits for myself and for my work and for potential personal gain from students and practitioners at a more advanced level. I imagined that my research would continue on trajectory set in 3.1 and not be impacted by this external project. This mindset influenced my initial approach in seeking external partners and what I asked of them. I came to realise that this was a narrow approach which limited potential partners and opportunities and that a changed approach might allow me more opportunities to find partners with different backgrounds, experiences, artistic and research interests. It was an opportunity to use this year of my degree studies as a safe space to investigate my project from a very different perspective, to experience cross pollination of ideas, receiving external feedback and also to adapt my practice to provide feedback and creative inputs to my chosen partners in a way which would be of benefit to them. A search for partners willing to share in my project about death, loss, memory but also with their own interests and unique approach is something which I hope will provide new insights and different perspectives to my own work and which could lead to different outcomes and directions for my own research and, importantly, what, if anything, I decide to do with my work. It will be interesting to see how my practice responds to external input in such a project and whether a new shared practice is a potential outcome for this work. As the distance learning model can seem a solitary journey this work provides a chance to change that perception. To date, the search for partners interested in a collaborative work has been frustrating and slow. When I studied at level 2, I worked with a graphic artist, a poet and a textile artist so it didn’t occur to me that finding partners would be difficult at 3.2. Is this difficulty because my project is less appealing or is it because students at higher levels of study are busier or am I being more picky about what I am looking for? I changed my approach part-way through my studies so as to broaden the appeal and have also decided to seek more than one external partner which will cater for risk of any partner dropping out.

In second half of this unit I will continue to work on external facing projects and will continue to refine and, hopefully, improve my dissertation.

 

Project plan #5

This month at the half way point in my studies for this unit, I have produced no major changes to my plans either overall or to the external facing project plan. These continue within design and scope. I show task completion and progress for my overarching plan. The external facing project seen slower progress so I have no changes to show from plan last month.

Reflective commentary #4

My reflective commentary this month looks at the differences between my study last year and this.

My work on this 3.2 project already feels different than when I was working on the 3.1 unit. I can break up this feeling to explain it more. My written work is shifting and seems as if it is deeper and more involved. I have been making a conscious effort to try and improve my essay writing so have been spending more time working on this in a different way to how I worked on my literature review. I hope that in the future, should I continue down academic path, that these skills will stand me in good stead. My creative work is continuing to develop although as I always said that as the work I was producing was a series of test pieces, it is perhaps no surprise to watch this continued progression. As a background to my essay writing and creative works, my research is, like my essay writing, more involved and deeper and perhaps more complex than it was. It is definitely less wide ranging and more focussed. I mentioned my creative test pieces. One part of this has been my external facing project which on many levels this has been a frustrating exercise to date. I have found difficulty putting into words what I wanted from this external work and found it very difficult to find external parties. I wasn’t sure if this because my project wasn’t appealing or was too emotionally charged or if because what I was asking of potential partners was too narrow and didn’t allow that artist any space for self-expression. In past month, I decided to replan my project, to change my approach and adjust my expectations. I would mark down my previous attempt to experience and as a false start. Instead of a narrow set of requirements which resulted in a narrow set of potential partners, I have broadened my approach and loosened what I expect from a partner and so have broadened my potential pool of partners. I now have a few different partners and directions I can take this external project. I think I will use those of most interest and might discard some for reasons of time. If I wanted to continue with my narrower approach, then I have no doubt that it could have worked, I just think it would have taken longer and might not have been delivered within timescales of this unit. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this collaboration.

The creation of my artwork, the feedback from peers and tutors, my research and my developing dissertation all seem to have slowly become more and more integrated with my practice. I would go further and say it is hard to distinguish these different elements and to deal with these things separately. My research provides understanding and new avenues for different or for deeper research and at the same time my knowledge increases which I use in my essay. In all of this I explore my research through my creativity trying to find ways to express and understand my own sense of grief and of death and memory all to gain a better understanding of the cultural significance of the sense of self and of the loss of that sense of self through disease and death and eventual loss of memory, of the social and medical impacts of traumatic grief and much much more. I am left with a series of questions; is a creative interpretation of death any less or more valid than a scientific or a religious interpretation? Does trying to find a solution or an answer ever end? Is my research of value? Will my research and practice continue to expand as my knowledge grows? Also, as I research continues and expands it becomes clearer how little I actually know.

Reflective commentary #3

This month I have spent a lot of time thinking about a collaborative piece of work which I will use for my external facing project. The search for a suitable partner has been a frustrating and time-consuming time for me filled with worry that if I don’t get planning for this piece of work started it might hold up progress on this unit.  In addition to my worries over external facing project, I have conducted further research into the liminal space and specifically looking at mental and physical impacts due to grief. It is as if being in this liminal space is bad for the living. I imagine this idea as being like the “death zone” which is the point above 26,000 feet when mountaineers experience conditions hostile to life.  Climbers who go higher than approximately 7,800m, experience very harsh conditions with a severe lack of oxygen, high winds and very cold conditions, physical demands on the body putting stress on the heart, lack of food and water as well as impaired mental function and high altitude sickness such as cerebral edema. (Lankford, 2021)  The term death zone was coined by Swiss climber Wyss-Dunant in 1952, “I have spoken of the ‘lethal zone’: it is fitting to give some explanation of this term. Survival is the only term suitable for describing the behaviour of a man in that mortal zone which begins at about 25,500 ft [7800 m]. Life there is impossible and it requires the whole of a man’s will to maintain himself there for a few days. Life hangs by a thread.” (Dr Wyss-Dunant, 1953, p. 115) This idea of life hanging by a thread is an interesting way to consider working and writing about the death space.

In addition to trying to find a way forward on my external facing project, I have updated my plan for this unit devoting more detail to planning and writing I will do for my dissertation. I have worked on research into the physical and mental impacts of grief and am currently working on wrappin this and previous research into my dissertation. I have constructed new creative test pieces looking in more depth at idea of liminality and death.

Next month I plan to spend majority of my time writing my dissertation although will also find time for peer feedback and to continue my reasearch. I will also try and arrange a call with collaborative partner so might put together a short presentation for that.

Bibliography

Dr Wyss-Dunant, E. (1953) ‘Acclimatisation’, in Kurz, M. (ed.) The Moutain World. London: George Allen & Unwin, pp. 110–117. Available at: https://archive.org/details/mountainworld195029881mbp/page/n5/mode/2up.

Lankford, H. V. (2021) ‘The Death Zone: Lessons from History’, Wilderness and Environmental Medicine, 32(1), pp. 114–120. doi: 10.1016/j.wem.2020.09.002.

Feedback #2

The change from tutor feedback to a mixed model of tutor and peer feedback is a new development for me which appears in the 3.2 unit.

I presented work to my peers using the Context and Audience Forum but also sent my work using the 3.1/3.2 group email. It is worth pointing out that the peer group consists mostly of students at different levels of the 3.1 unit. This is because there are currently very few of us working on the 3.2 unit so to only ask my 3.2 peer group would have limited potential responses. This means that the feedback is returned to me from students at very different levels in their own learning journies. I received feedback from four students. I write my notes on this feedback based upon the particular part of my work they wished to comment upon rather than who that student is.

Firstly, some comments on my research. A peer gave feedback saying of my research, “Very well written and your depths of research is astounding”. This is difficult to put into context. Is my research seen as well written and at good depth based on the place this fellow student is at in her own studies? I have just received limited feedback on my 3.1 submission from assessment and get little sense from assessors on the quality or otherwise of my research other than to say that I, “engaged very well with varied research, visual and academic”. Continuing with my peer feedback a helpful comment on my research was in terms of how I wrote it down, “cosmetically: I would probably work with some more paragraphs, thinking about reader friendliness” This is easier feedback for me to react to and to attempt to make changes to my work based upon such a comment. Another piece of feedback was that my research is “interesting and clearly relevant” and that my commentary included disagreements and uncertainties. This was good to think about. I do try and make my work accessible and readable. Lastly on research I received feedback on my ideas around ‘thin places’. This was interesting to me as student mentioned being trapped between two worlds and of need to mourn and of a possible reluctance to stop mourning.

My creative works received feedback. Some comment on my creative works exploring liminal space which I described as “stressful and uncomfortable” and an understanding of my idea of using red and white. My idea of the red was almost of a river of blood. Mt idea of the white was as empty space. Another student commented that the bench perched at the “edge of nothingness” and of the feeling of peering into the unknown. However, another student commented that the bench could be seen as something linked with idea of taking a rest and enjoying a view which was in contradiction to my thoughts of stressful and uncomfortable. More thoughts on the bench were that it very static. Does it fit as a symbol into that fluid and confusing liminal space? A view that the test pieces I showed here were “powerful” and needed very little narrative. One comment which was interesting was on the monotone images. These were described as reminding a student of dreams or nightmares, “I feel memories of death should not be in colour, even if they start that way, the colour will surely fade?” This is very interesting feedback. I wonder if we record memory in colour? Another comment on this work was of abstract image conveying emotional pain but that adding people to my images changes this pain to be more personal and mixes the therapeutic and photographic sides of grief and of photography.

Some works for me to look at, Richard Mosse’s work using infra-red, Burtynsky’s overhead shots of developmental edges for example where forest cut for palm oil plantations, Sally Mann’s proud Flesh, Stephen DiRado and his pictures of his father and his dementia journey. Lastly, there were a couple of links around liminal space a student looked out for me:

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-impact-of-liminal-space-on-your-mental-health-5204371

https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/what-is-liminal-space/

I received feedback on the practicalities of my studies. My dissertation outline plan included thoughts on the question and reasons behind my written work. A student asked if my reasoning behind my work should be as personal or should it be “impersonal, intellectual and learned?” There was also a query on how achievable the first 2,000 words of my dissertation by the end of May. More feedback on my dissertation was on whether photography a tool to forget or to remember and maybe answer that it a tool to aid understanding? “A lens with which to examine the situation, perhaps a way of achieving comprehension from behind an emotional shield.” Am not sure I accept that the camera is a shield not idea raised in this feedback that “time heals”.

In summary, very useful feedback but at the same time it took me a long time to try and make sense of it and to write this summary. I booked a small meeting with my tutor to supplement the peer feedback which helped me a lot and firmed up my understanding. That idea is something I think I will repeat in future months where I receive peer feedback.

Reflective commentary #2

This month I worked on a range of activities including a further review of my plan, a broad outline of my dissertation, some research and creative test pieces on the concept of liminal space, further research on western attitudes towards death and on death and memorial in Scotland, an early view of Aims, Learning Outcomes and Assessment Criteria which in the coming months I will map my progress against and finally some thoughts on the external facing project. I wrapped these items up in an overview and presented these to my peers for feedback.

As I reflect on what I have been working on this month, it is clear to me that the idea of liminality is key to my work in terms of death. The liminal space is the state of transition between one place or another or between one state and another. It can be thought of as a contradiction where the space is both inside and outside but at same time is neither inside or outside (Xenou, 2023). A liminal space might be physical or emotional or metaphorical. This isn’t a ‘comfortable’ space. It challenges the senses and logic. It tears at emotion and even at sanity as we struggle to deal with the transition and are pulled in different directions. In part of my peer feedback a student commented that my work was very personal and emotive asking if the reasoning behind my work should instead be, “impersonal, intellectual and learned?” This is an interesting point of view but I think that if I were to try to deal with death and stripped away all of the emotion and my personal experiences then my work would have to make less sense, have less impact, weight and meaning to me. Death and emotion and personal experience form a cornerstone of my work. It would be like me writing about war or famine or a remote culture from a dispassionate third party viewpoint when I had experience of none of these things.

I looked briefly at the idea of ‘thin places’ and want to look further into this to explore though of being caught between two worlds where the gap between these spaces becomes close at the point of grief.

I used the idea of liminality as the idea behind my creative test pieces, where I attempted to imagine in a visual sense this idea of discomfort and looking into the edge of the abyss. Liminality will form part of my dissertation and I have some ideas on my external facing project which will also use this concept. In that work I have been thinking of the black water of the River Styx between life and death and of trying to find a way to incorporate the spoken work as a way of expressing resonances and memory. This idea builds on a existing project about ancient rock tombs in Ireland and the sense that these rocks of Sligo have have no memory and yet at the same time when sounds touch these places do these sounds have ancient resonances. I do not yet know how to form this project and would need help, but in my mind I see a river constructed in the two dimensions of a photograph but building upon those dimensions and using sounds to either represent the wraiths who inhabit the banks of the river between life and death or perhaps to replace the water itself so that instead of the gentle soothing sound of water my work would use words.

All in all, an exciting time in my studies. I feel I have passed the hump of beginning a new unit and have dealt (so far) with gap between 3.1 and 3.2. The stress of waiting for assessment which is always a worrisome time for me is over. I feel that I have my feet under the table and a sense that I know which path I will take even if final destination is not yet clear to me.