This month the student asked for a reflective presentation of 750 words to explore the relationship between my external projects, my written work and the future of my practice. I should consider the impact my choices and actions taken during past projects have had on the development of my work and the future development of my topic and my practice.
Looking back at earlier studies I see that some of the concepts I started to explore in the 3.1 Research and Practice unit have continued to this day and can be seen in my ongoing research, dissertation and my most recent creative works. Ideas from earlier in my studies such as the symbolism surrounding death or why deaths of children might be thought of differently to the deaths of the elderly, have relevance as I explore the threshold of death. Although initially I was less than interested in philosophical works, I have been increasingly drawn to the works of Roland Barthes and his idea of the photograph being a harbinger of death which places the photograph squarely in the liminal space between life and death. In turn, this raises the question of what the photograph is and what it is not. “Whatever it grants to vision and whatever its manner, a photograph is always invisible: it is not it that we see.” (Barthes, 1981, p. 6). I have come to believe that the very threshold between life and death is not a single thing; it is uncomfortable, dark, socially remote, emotionally challenging and unhealthy. Along with my research, I use my creative works to grapple with my understanding of the liminal space. I am increasingly aware that my understanding of this space cannot be expressed by a single work or an isolated segment of my work but instead, my journey of understanding, which mirrors my journey through grief, is a fragmented vision made up of many different viewpoints and works. Into this mixture, my collaboration with other partners starts to make sense as the fragments of my vision of what the liminal means takes creative input from others and finds new direction and meaning. I have found this collaboration challenging and time-consuming but, at the same time, very rewarding. Shared creative work forces adaptations, challenges assumptions and existing work practices. The output from my research and shared creative endeavours has started to bear fruit with the creation of new works which are different from my self-directed efforts. In this year’s study and creative works, I think back to Carlo Ginzburg’s thoughts in Myths, Emblems and Clues. Ginzburg writes about seemingly unrelated tracks left behind when conducting research, of what went before and the confusing melee from different sources. (Ginzburg, 1990, pp. 103, 118) In my work, some examples of these tracks heading in different and unexpected directions can be seen when a partner invited me to a meeting of the Folklore Society and a presentation on Burial Grounds. This led to an exchange of emails and an invitation to join the Association for the Study of Death and Society and the opportunity to build contacts with a shared interest. The building of networks, the growth of my self-directed and shared work and my increased knowledge through research may point to future directions and possibilities for my practice. Another less academic track is that I am involved with support groups and come into close contact with those who have experience of cancer. When I meet other people who have been touched by death or the experiences near the end of life, it is interesting to engage with their experiences of the liminal space and at the same time to use this group to explore some of my thoughts from my study. Yet another more recent track was feedback received about not questioning my choices but instead, reflecting on my experiences to continue to refine and to improve my work. Self-reflection is different from self-doubt. These brief thoughts on my external engagement, my creative practice and contextual research touch on the stated aims and outcomes for this unit. However, it seems to me that this is more than a tick-box exercise and that this is a continuing process. Undergraduate study and research do not cease as the degree is awarded. Research, creative trials, the different experiences gained from contacts with a broad range of interests, self-directed work and collaborations are all part of the journey of education which will continue with next year’s 3.3 unit and beyond the academic world.
References
Barthes, R. (1981) Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography. Vintage Books.
Ginzburg, C. (1990) Myths, Emblems, Clues. London: Hutchinson Radius.
