Exercise 1: Reviewing and Situating Your Practice

Produce a reflective document that articulates:

  • past trajectory of your topic, work already undertaken in previous units and that you intend to extend.
  • The context of your work within your specific topic
  • The broader discipline and a statement of intent for the final iteration of your topic and work
  • The rationale for your choices

The introduction to the course notes describes the major project as offering, “a platform to focus on a specialist area of enquiry and to undertake a substantial and sustained body of work. You will devise a project that allows you to explore a field of interest and to further develop your emerging practice.” My work on this project has its roots in the death of my daughter in 2015 and her illness starting in 2014. There was a long period where I was lost in grief and didn’t even understand that I was grieving and searching for a way to express myself. My photography and my research into this area have provided the outlet which I needed and the understanding which I craved.  In 2021, at the end of level 2, I started to look at the medical scan and re-thinking this as children’s games or as works placed on the art gallery wall. As I began level 3, my knowledge increased and my creative work headed in different directions as I looked at the symbolism surrounding death and touched upon memory and loss. Later, I worked to express the liminal threshold of death and did collaborative works exploring text and combining my work with folklore and the forest.

That gives a view of the track which my research and creative interests have been following. Going forward into 3.3, I have given thought to where my interests will develop.

·         I will continue to develop and mature my work around what the liminal means to me.

·         I been experimenting with the corruption of the image which I feel sits well with the liminal.

·         I will consider if physical and tactile work or digital work or a mixture of both best suits my practice.

·         Am interested in the space between having been inspired by the work of John Baldessari. To me, that space can be thought of if I imagine a photograph of a child and another photograph of that child in old age. What goes between these two images?

·         I have been thinking about a multidisciplinary approach and bringing more video and especially sound to my practice. I think that a liminal space consisting of only visual elements is missing much of the information we use in memory.

·         I have also wondered about the use of a child-sized coffin. Could I create this digitally and it becomes a space an audience can enter and fill it with sound and images so that the coffin becomes my gallery? Or should I turn the coffin into a bench, mirroring early work where I change the context of an object?

I can see that my work has been maturing and that as my knowledge increases, so does how I engage with what makes me me. My art and my learning are tools which interact with how I live my life.

For the coming year, I have identified some external sources I can use which will help to refine my practice.

·         I have found a Museum of Loss and Renewal which provides space for artist residencies. This is divided between two sites which focus on Air, Sea and Soil based in the Orkneys and on Place, People and Time based in Italy. Will be interesting to investigate this further. The advantages of such a residency would be in exposing me to practitioners working in my own field with the potential for collaborative work. It would also be interesting to communicate my ideas with strangers and take their ideas on board.

·         I don’t know if there is scope and interest on all sides to extend some of my collaboration work from last year.

·         I want to post work for public viewing, for competitions, and exhibitions. This will be a valuable experience in its own right plus will provide useful feedback.

·         I want to consider publishing written work and how this fits with my practice and future study.

There is a networking element here which builds my contacts from in-University peer groups and starts to include more and more external partners. One of first steps for such engagement is to build myself a website to showcase some of my work and ideas.

I need to consider the skills and experiences my practice needs and then plan on how I identify gaps and how I increase my knowledge to fill these gaps. I have started a crude skills planner which provides me with broad indicators of progress in this area. One part of expanding skills with video, sounds, exhibitions, residencies and more is the cost. Do I investigate the potential for grants? This in itself is another skill and experience. If I need more technical equipment is an alternative to approach a bricks and mortar university Photography department and ask if I could borrow some kit?

I have thought about whether my work is suited to a book or an exhibition but not clear on this yet. I know that hospitals near to me have exhibition spaces in their corridors which I had thought might be appropriate for my work. However, on recent trips to hospitals, I have watched how the public engages with the work on the walls. They often seem lost in thoughts or are hurrying to get to appointments or to visit patients. Many have little time for art. I have also noticed that much of the art tends to be brightly coloured and upbeat. How would my darker, more thoughtful work fit into such a space? I asked peers about this and a helpful piece of feedback was that my work might be seen as challenging particularly to the sick or to the elderly. Maybe a separate and distinct space for an exhibition which an audience has to make a conscious effort to attend is more relevant rather than using a space where people can come into and encounter my art unintentionally. At the same time there is an element to my work which could be thought of as beneficial. Interesting points to consider.

In addition to work within 3.3, I have identified some interests for future projects which I won’t have time for in 3.3 and might just about cram into this lifetime.

I mentioned my dissertation earlier, and it is interesting to consider how my research and any written work will continue in the coming year which I assume is not going to be 100% creative work.  In turn, I wonder about my post-graduate direction. Should I take on board another undergraduate course to broaden my skills? Things such as Sound Art or Fine Arts interest me. Or do I look at a Masters to continue my research interests? Whatever I decide, I can’t see a point where I only write or I only produce creative works as each depends on the other. I also wonder if I looked at future studies how a bricks and mortar University would feel in comparison to home-study.

 

Word count – 1,152

Reflective commentary at end of assignment 10

The end of the course is about finalising my dissertation, creative works as I get ready for assessment and on reflection based on feedback feedback received.

I submitted final draft of dissertation with an abstract and also my self-directed and external project outcomes.

As much of the work for this assignment is covered elsewhere in my blog such as the dissertation page and pages showing my creative works and thoughts, I thought I would offer some general reflection on this unit and on how what I ask or expect of my work is changing.

I came into 3.2 thinking it would be the same as 3.1 and that my exploration of my chosen subject would continue in the same manner with me researching whatever interested me in a broad exploration of my topic. However, as I have worked on 3.2, my research and practical works have more depths as I focus in on the heart of my project. Having seen this sea change between 3.1 and 3.2, I now expect 3.3 to have a similar leap forwards and to be busy for final year of this degree. Within that I am expecting more external engagement, creative works, research and more. I suppose, in this general reflection, I can say that I have been enjoying this latter part of the course. It is much more involved and interesting than the level 1 units. I am starting to wonder about what will come after 3.3. A tutor said that many go forwards with study as they enjoy the structure around learning as opposed to being left to set their own aims in outside world. I have thought about this and wonder whether I will have time off before making a decision or whether to throw myself into new works or extensions of my current work or to sign up for a Masters. Maybe the outcomes from 3.3 will provide some direction and answers. All in all an exciting time.

Reflective commentary #9

This month the student asked for a reflective presentation of 750 words to explore the relationship between my external projects, my written work and the future of my practice. I should consider the impact my choices and actions taken during past projects have had on the development of my work and the future development of my topic and my practice.

Looking back at earlier studies I see that some of the concepts I started to explore in the 3.1 Research and Practice unit have continued to this day and can be seen in my ongoing research, dissertation and my most recent creative works. Ideas from earlier in my studies such as the symbolism surrounding death or why deaths of children might be thought of differently to the deaths of the elderly, have relevance as I explore the threshold of death. Although initially I was less than interested in philosophical works, I have been increasingly drawn to the works of Roland Barthes and his idea of the photograph being a harbinger of death which places the photograph squarely in the liminal space between life and death. In turn, this raises the question of what the photograph is and what it is not. “Whatever it grants to vision and whatever its manner, a photograph is always invisible: it is not it that we see.” (Barthes, 1981, p. 6). I have come to believe that the very threshold between life and death is not a single thing; it is uncomfortable, dark, socially remote, emotionally challenging and unhealthy. Along with my research, I use my creative works to grapple with my understanding of the liminal space. I am increasingly aware that my understanding of this space cannot be expressed by a single work or an isolated segment of my work but instead, my journey of understanding, which mirrors my journey through grief, is a fragmented vision made up of many different viewpoints and works. Into this mixture, my collaboration with other partners starts to make sense as the fragments of my vision of what the liminal means takes creative input from others and finds new direction and meaning. I have found this collaboration challenging and time-consuming but, at the same time, very rewarding. Shared creative work forces adaptations, challenges assumptions and existing work practices. The output from my research and shared creative endeavours has started to bear fruit with the creation of new works which are different from my self-directed efforts. In this year’s study and creative works, I think back to Carlo Ginzburg’s thoughts in Myths, Emblems and Clues. Ginzburg writes about seemingly unrelated tracks left behind when conducting research, of what went before and the confusing melee from different sources. (Ginzburg, 1990, pp. 103, 118) In my work, some examples of these tracks heading in different and unexpected directions can be seen when a partner invited me to a meeting of the Folklore Society and a presentation on Burial Grounds. This led to an exchange of emails and an invitation to join the Association for the Study of Death and Society and the opportunity to build contacts with a shared interest. The building of networks, the growth of my self-directed and shared work and my increased knowledge through research may point to future directions and possibilities for my practice. Another less academic track is that I am involved with support groups and come into close contact with those who have experience of cancer. When I meet other people who have been touched by death or the experiences near the end of life, it is interesting to engage with their experiences of the liminal space and at the same time to use this group to explore some of my thoughts from my study. Yet another more recent track was feedback received about not questioning my choices but instead, reflecting on my experiences to continue to refine and to improve my work. Self-reflection is different from self-doubt. These brief thoughts on my external engagement, my creative practice and contextual research touch on the stated aims and outcomes for this unit. However, it seems to me that this is more than a tick-box exercise and that this is a continuing process. Undergraduate study and research do not cease as the degree is awarded. Research, creative trials, the different experiences gained from contacts with a broad range of interests, self-directed work and collaborations are all part of the journey of education which will continue with next year’s 3.3 unit and beyond the academic world.

References

Barthes, R. (1981) Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography. Vintage Books.

Ginzburg, C. (1990) Myths, Emblems, Clues. London: Hutchinson Radius.

How feedback helps me to reconsider my work

Feedback can be very helpful. Equally, it can be frustrating and time-consuming to try and understand and absorb. It can be short or long. Seemingly simple or complex. The best thing about feedback is when it draws me out of myself and makes me stop and think about why I hold a certain point of view or why I am pursuing my project in a specific way or direction., The best feedback challenges me which doesn’t necessarily mean that I will change direction. For example, I had some feedback on self-criticism and self-evaluation. The feedback encouraged me and told me not to always be so hard on myself, to focus less on my output and more on awareness, how I interpret my work and the reasons and meanings behind it. Another student told me to think of nurture which I have long thought is a feature of the safe space of peer feedback in the learning environment. Finally, in this area, a comment was made that stopped me in my tracks. While worry and self-doubt might seem similar to self-reflection these things are not necessarily synonymous. Self-reflection comes from a place of knowing not a place of worrying. I should not question my choices but instead, reflect on how to use my experiences and my successes to help refine and to improve my work. This shows that feedback isn’t always on the technical side of some test pieces I present but can be on anything. Of course, if I choose, I can ask my peer group to focus on a specific area which would narrow down what they comment on. Also, I feel, it would lessen potential for more startling and unexpected observations.

The course notes for this unit ask for a mixture of tutor and peer feedback. Tutor feedback is stable and known. It comes from a single source I have dealt with many times. Peer feedback is chaotic. To these two types of feedback, I will add in my collaborative project work as much of that is an experience in feedback and challenging ideas, providing new avenues for research or creative endeavours.  Both help me reconsider my work. In the academic sense of studying with the OCA, I think that distance learning without student interaction and peer or tutor feedback would be a very different and more challenging thing.

The skills involved in feedback are two-way skills which will go beyond the end of my studies with the OCA.  In seeking feedback outside of the OCA this is likely to be a very different thing, removed from the academic walls which represent a safe space to me. I mention two-way as feedback can be given and received. Also, even within the space of seeking feedback, I am not an inert force but am presenting and encouraging others, taking notes, selecting information and material I want feedback on, and then, presentation skills in delivering to an audience. When asking for feedback, I select what work I want feedback on, I collate this into whatever form I choose and present this to my audience. I then use listening or reading skills as my peers make their points. Finally, there is a reflective phase where I decide if points are valid or relevant to my practice and if I can identify opportunities to change my practice in some way to take the feedback on board then I need to consider how I might do this and how long such changes might take and of course what the outcome might be and my consideration of points made and then thinking if I can adapt my practice in any way to encompass the points made. Feedback is about problem-solving, and communication and uses analytical skills but at the same time, this is not always logic-based as feedback can be about the emotional response., Many of these points apply when offering feedback; reflecting on what is being asked, considering what I want to say and how, and responding to questions or rejection of my feedback. I can imagine that as my practice develops beyond my OCA studies there might be opportunities in the future where I am asked for feedback. Some people seem to have made a business out of this from what I have observed from some portfolio reviews. I wonder if that changes the feedback paradigm and changes the person seeking feedback into a customer but only after a financial transaction is made. Is feedback in such a session better or worse than with people I have built a relationship with and have a level of trust? This brings me to the time element of feedback. Whether as a purchase or as peer feedback in the university setting, the feedback given or received is shaped around the time I have available to offer feedback and the time I have available to receive and absorb what has been offered.

The external feedback option might well change how I present my work, with an eye on the clock, I might restrict what I ask for feedback on based on research I conduct on the person offering feedback and looking at their background, their likes and dislikes. Thinking of this as a customer retail relationship allows me to ask harder questions of that person. What will they offer to me and to my practice? Would I consider them to be trustworthy when I share ideas? What do they get from the experience beyond money? These are life skills in evaluating people, going into this new relationship with my eyes open, being organised and asking reasonable questions. I realise that this might sound slightly cynical of me.

Two other things I want to say here about reflection. I mentioned taking on board the comments and suggestions of others or maybe rejecting them. I need to be aware that sometimes depending on who says something and how they say it will impact how I take this feedback. It is a very human response but something to be aware of. I also didn’t mention how long reflection can take. Reflection is not an instant thing for me. As I re-read something, even months later, a new idea might pop into my head and I’ll think about the feedback received differently. Is that the same as visiting an art gallery or watching a film or reading a book more than once?

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Reflective commentary #8

My coursework this month asks me to seek out support by posting a summary of progress for peer and tutor review and then to write a reflective account of how feedback can help me reconsider my work.

I posted a summary of progress for review and comment. I did not  attach any part of my dissertation to the review but instead left it up to my peer group saying that if any interested to read part of my essay and perhaps have some time for feedback this would be welcome but that I was aware of the time pressures of our study so if no takers that is perfectly understandable.

As I move through this course, my perspectives change. I initially thought of the end of 3.1 as a way marker on the path and that 3.2 would be a continuation of 3.1 but at the same level. As I move along this path it has become clear that 3.2 is actually a step up from 3.1. Or to use my analogy of a path, in 3.2 the path is less straight with rocks and puddles underfoot. I expect 3.3 will add in some hills and rockfalls. My work on 3.2 does not involve an increased amount of work in terms of the volume of output but instead, the work I do needs more thought and is done to a greater depth. The path is more challenging so I must put in more effort. It is the idea of working slower but harder.

As with all of us, demands in our lives away from study come into play. Our research and creative works never sit in a vacuum. Am certain that all students and practitioners have challenges going on in their lives.

As is normal for me, I spend time worrying. I worry if my written work not good enough and if I have fallen behind, I worry about my creative works and what others might think. I worry about my work and how these sit within the demands of learning outcomes. I worry if am busy and don’t always dial into our calls and can’t commit to providing feedback each time this is asked for. When I am asked for feedback, and have the time to respond, I worry about how my comments received and how much value I offer. The feedback also offers opportunities to look at the work of others and for self-judgement and comparison against my own work. This sense of doubting myself seems so ingrained that it has almost become a part of my practice. This self-questioning is a useful thing and is normal. I used to imagine artists would create work easily and without doubts almost as if works would appear if by magic on the canvas fully formed from day one. I wrote previously that none of our work exists in isolation. To this I would add that the creation of written and artistic works is sometimes a struggle. That we currently in a safe learning environment and can reach for support and feedback and words of encouragement is a good thing. After our undergraduate study comes to an end, there are people who will still happily support us. Alongside these are some who will be less supportive. This seems a fact of life. So, the self-reflection I speak of is key to this process as we discover what we want to do in the future and how our studies give us a foundation upon which we can build.

This month I have been predominantly working on my dissertation following my last feedback meeting and referring to the detailed notes given in feedback by my tutor. I have also been doing a little work on my collaboration projects although sometimes this involves thinking about directions and choices rather than making new works.

Dissertation is a big part of 3.2 and I can’t lie, for me it been a time-consuming and, at times, frustrating exercise. I imagine for some, who are better at writing that I am, this will maybe be less of a struggle. How I envy such people.

I mentioned my collaborations. I been working with several people and the development of work and ideas is not always fast. I have to take into account that any sense of urgency on my part is not always shared by my other partners. This is equally true of their demands of me. Again, this is a fact of life. I am at assignment point 8 and some collaboration work barely started. In a project management sense, if there are elements of our own project which rely on others, this is called an external dependency. We cannot always control these external elements so have to factor in delays. A simple example might be if we send off to have some prints made or to have book published and find there been issue at their end and what we expect to arrive doesn’t arrive. This is all part of learning how we build our own practice around others on whom we rely. I love the idea of collaborations and how one idea changes as it bounces off another and how new works can emerge. In my own practice I can see endless possibilities for working in this way in the future so I don’t feel that delays are huge issue for me but instead I see them as part of the process.

Reflective commentary #7

My work in past month and more has had a heavy bias towards my dissertation as I try to get on top of my ideas for this work and at same time attempt to force myself to stay on topic and stop wandering. As this a major element of this unit, I feel it very important to reach a tipping point where I am happy with my overall ideas and rest of work on essay will be an editing process. The coursework at this point asks for a first draft of my dissertation. What I have been working on for the past few months feels well beyond a first draft and has been through many different iterations and revisions. Whatever number I assign to these drafts, I am much happier with my efforts than I was several months back and even though it still isn’t complete, it feels that my argument and flow of this written work is developing. Future drafts will continue my work to edit and refine my argument further as this draft is too long and needs a conclusion and abstract and some illustrations. As I edit this further, I will drill down as I have a sense that I have repeated some of my points. My essay seems to have much more of my own comments and opinions although I am not consciously aware of changing my approach. As suggested by tutor, I have incorporated my footnotes into the body of my text. The most useful advice I received was in writing to help me discover so I have been researching and exploring all at the same time, my efforts being driven by what I write. Interestingly, I been seeing connections between my essay and my creative test pieces. My writing is developing as I been searching for the flow of my essay, trying to make it logical and readable. I am not the most cultured writer so this been time consuming but at the same time, enjoyable and, I hope, depending on my choices for future study, will be a useful skill to develop.

Tutor feedback on the rough draft containing my introduction and the first chapter with ideas for the rest of essay at feedback point 4 were instructive although it took me a while to absorb what had been said and to try and shape my ideas for my dissertation and to take that feedback on board. Major changes in essay are that my original introduction now forms a part of my second chapter where I explore the liminal space surrounding death. It is here I have decided to give my daughter a voice. My revamped first two chapters and a new introduction is where the bulk of my essay has developed. My chapter on death as a taboo is now my final chapter. Having said this, I have thought of this less as chapters, but more as joined up work which lean upon one another.